[Editor’s note: It all comes down to this. What final weekend scheduling strategy will win the Bottom 10 title? Head-to-head matchups between ranked teams or blowout losses to good teams? One thing we know for sure: Michigan State left no doubt about the Coveted Fifth Spot.]
Inspirational thought of the week:
Somebody help me, it’s moving faster than ever
A second chance is another way to remember
I’m going down, down, down
I go down, go down
And it all comes down to you
And it all comes down to this
– “It all comes down to that”, Aquilo
Here at Bottom 10 headquarters, located at the back of the savings and credit union where universities keep their bags of money labeled “For coach buyouts only, college guys DON’T TOUCH,” we don’t plan on wasting a lot of time this week sifting through turkey bones. That’s because we’re too busy sifting through the bones and numbers that make up the teams and games that will determine the final final 10 rankings of 2021, which will be revealed in a week’s time. Not literally now, like right now, as we’re not 100% sure when you read this, but the final top 10 ranking will drop on Wednesday of next week.
In fact, the more we think about it, we’ve got a pretty good idea of ââwhen and where you’re reading this. I bet it’s Thanksgiving Day and you’re hiding from your family. That means you’re more than likely in the bathroom right now, peeking through your phone behind the only lockable door in the house, to avoid having to listen to your loved ones discussing politics, which will welcome Christmas into one. month. and why the Egg Bowl is called the Egg Bowl.
Well my friend I want you so badly to stay where you are. But unfortunately Uncle Ray has to come in here because cousin Marlene used too much oil on the collard greens again. Then again, he’s a Florida fan too, so maybe that’s why his tummy is so upset.
With apologies to Dan Mullen, William Bradford and Steve Harvey, here is the ranking of the last 10 after week 12 of 2021.
1. UMess (1-10)
Since defeating UConn on October 9, the Minutemen have lost five straight games in a combined 224-69, including two losses to FCS Schools, and in the midst of it all they have fired their coach. Now, they travel to take on their regional rival, the State of New Mexico, in the pillow fight of the week of the year: Endgame.
2. Phew Mexico (1-10)
But wait, weren’t the Other Aggies in first place a week ago? So how did they get into this slot machine after losing a game by a score of 56-16? Well, first of all, this game was in Kentucky, the SEC’s second consecutive visit to the state of New Mexico on the 2021 NMSU World Tour. Third, they did not fire their coach. Still. And fourth, according to ESPN’s incredibly accurate REIT, the Aggies have a 72.8% chance of winning on Saturday. In addition, there is a 99.9% chance that the horoscopy is not a real word.
3. You can’t (1-10)
As New Mexico State and UMass booked their first reunion for the final weekend of the season in what we believe is a clear case of smart one-on-one title-hunting planning. among the last 10, UConn has taken a completely different approach. The Huskies will host 24th-ranked Houston in hopes of losing by such a huge margin it could push them past the NMSU and Minutemen as the season crosses the finish line.
4.FI (not A) U (1-10)
Meanwhile, the Panthers also clearly predicted a late run of the last 10 in the lead, setting up a season-ending trip to South Missed. But the Foldin ‘Eagles may have, uh, followed Butch Davis’ end-of-career strategy, taking a shaken Week 12 victory over Lose-iana Tech and moving out of the bottom 10 standings. This could alter the CRF’s SOS just enough to keep it from falling into the top spot. And to clarify, here at Bottom 10 Stats & Info, SOS doesn’t mean “calendar strength”. It’s a literal SOS.
5. Still wish, State (9-2)
Ohio State QB CJ Stroud returns a five-yard touchdown pass to Jaxon Smith-Njigba, giving Stroud his sixth TD of the first half.
We’ve touched on the swamp-like situation in Florida before, and we also already had the Gators in the coveted fifth spot a week ago, as they shared it with Texas. This week, the state of Michigan is not sharing it with anyone. They won every square inch of that space on their own, unlike in Columbus, where they didn’t gain any inch of space anywhere except their seats in the return plane. I’m surprised that college football playoff selection committee chairman Gary Barta didn’t start this week’s press conference by wearing a Michigan Wolverines hoodie and shouting, “See ?! said it !!! “
6. Akronmonious (2-9)
Akron lost to rival State of Kent by a score of 38-0. The Golden Flashes took the traditional Wagon Wheel trophy and used it to ride the Zips. It’s nothing. This weekend, Toledo will have the Rockets targeting the Zips.
7. Indiana? Who, gentlemen? (2-9)
Indiana entered the 2021 season with a big-armed veteran quarterback, a ton of returning starters, and was picked to finish third in their division with likely eight wins and a nice vacation bowl offer. Now the Hoosiers are 2-9, 0-8 in the Big Ten, on a seven-game losing streak and 15-point underdogs at Purdue, a team with a veteran quarterback with big arms, a squad. returning starters and in a position to finish third in their division with eight wins and a nice holiday bowl offer. It will be like that movie “Freaky Friday”, only this one will be called “Supernatural Saturday”.
8.US (not C) F (2-9)
The annual war on I-4 will resume when the United States (non-C) F uses this freeway to confront UC (non S) F on Thanksgiving night. Then again, that assumes they don’t get stuck on I-4 and end up sitting just south of Orlando surrounded by orange barrels and broken down minivans until next Thanksgiving.
9. By the time I arrive in Arizona (1-10)
The Mildcats are one of five 10-game losing national teams, but they stayed far from the top of the bottom of this table because in their previous four games they had achieved just that one win and their three losses were all eight points. or less. Then they lost to Washington State 44-18, then they lost defensive coordinator Don Brown, who served as head coach at UMass for the second time. Accessories for Coach Brown. It was certainly no small challenge to find a way to demote from his current squad. But he did!
10. Vanderbilt Dresser Doors (2-9)
Fun fact: My family spends their Thanksgivings in the mountains of North Carolina and most years we visit the Biltmore Estate, the largest private residence in the United States, built in 1895 by the Vanderbilt family. There is a portrait of Commodore Vanderbilt that hangs over the door of one of the dining rooms and every time I’m there it flashes like a lightning bolt and lets out a creepy laugh and an evil warning that I would give better start running or it will calm my soul. For years, I thought it was a painting thing like in Disneyland’s Haunted Mansion. Turns out I was the only one who heard or saw all of these creepy things, and looking back I realize that only happens when Vandy in the Bottom 10 heads to the last weekend. of the season. So this year I’m going to the Biltmore with a Ouija board, garlic necklace, and a helmet that I stole from one of the medieval foyer armor.
Waiting list: Southern Missed, Tulame, unLv, Kansas Nayhawks, Minute Rice, Temple Bowels, Whew Mexico, Arkansaw State, COVID-19.